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Dungeons & Doritos: ‘Twas The Night Before Crunchmas

by Ryan McQuinn & Mike McQuinn

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Jamela: Crunchmas without you My heart's snapped right in two Like Doritos with no Dew Crunchmas without you You rat bastard Tiefling – I tried forgetting But who am I kidding, I still think of you. Jen'Ifer: My darling Dragonborn Jamela: (ooh yes) Jen'Ifer: I've been away too long Jamela: (you have been away so long) Jen'Ifer: I see now that I was wrong - For not loving you Jamela and Jen'Ifer: Crunchmas without you - fire with nothing to catch to Jen'Ifer: Jamela I- Jamela: Oh hush you. I know you love me, it's true. Jamela and Jen'Ifer: Crunchmas without you Jamela: Get your cloak off and let's screw! Jen'Ifer: If there's one thing I'm into – it's Crunchmas inside you Vimak: This being of happy time Barty: (I'll say) Vimak: And yet I feel sad inside Barty: (boo hoo) Vimak: For fallen comrades on this Crunchmas Eve Barty: Hey, I miss him too, pal Lefty: (Poor Chair) Barty: But Chair loved a rowdy-dow Lefty: (It's true) Barty: I know he's here with us- Deen: Or in heaven with Steve! Vimak, Lefty, Barty: Crunchmas without you Lefty: Was just something I lived through. But Jamela and Vimak and Barty too - You're the family I never knew Deen: Crunchmas without Deen - That exclusion was so mean! Lefty: It didn't fit in the rhyme scheme Deen: Oh, that seems reasonable to me Lefty: Yeah, Deen – you're great! Jamela and Jen'Ifer: This Crunchmas I'm with you Jamela: Looks like wishes can come true Jen'Ifer: Let's break every taboo Lefty: Woah you guys! Get a room. Jamela and Jen'Ifer: Sweet loving affection Jamela: This Tiefling's erection Lefty: (I can't unsee that!) Jamela: He don't need no protection Lefty: (Jamela, that's gross) Jamela: -Oh hey Lefty, what are you doing here? Lefty: Does this seem strange to you? Jamela: (You can probably join in) Lefty: Yuck- but Jen'Ifer can't stand you! Jamela: You're jealous aren't you? He might be a crumb-bum, but Goddess I want some – honest I do. Jen'Ifer: Oh that's right, I hate you! Jamela: No darling, that's not true! Jen'Ifer: I'll Eldritch blast you! Jamela: No but- Barty: Is this the part where we just name chips? Ranch-Dipped Hotwings, and Smoky Chipotle B-B-Q Chile Limon, and Locos Tacos, Flammas too

about

Music from the 32nd Dungeons & Doritos episode, "‘Twas The Night Before Crunchmas".

PAY WHAT YOU WANT! All proceeds go back into the D&D music department.

credits

released December 17, 2014

All songs written and performed by Ryan McQuinn except "Crunchmas Without You"- a parody of "Christmas Without You" (Goldstein / Parton) music performed by Mike McQuinn, lyrics by Cap Blackard, with vocals from the cast of Dungeons & Doritos.

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Omniverse Orlando, Florida

Original music from Omniverse and The Nerdy Show Network's audio drama series.

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