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The Cast of Dungeons & Doritos/ Mike McQuinn - Crunchmas Without You

from Dungeons & Doritos: ‘Twas The Night Before Crunchmas by Ryan McQuinn & Mike McQuinn

/

lyrics

Jamela:
Crunchmas without you
My heart's snapped right in two
Like Doritos with no Dew
Crunchmas without you

You rat bastard Tiefling – I tried forgetting
But who am I kidding, I still think of you.

Jen'Ifer: My darling Dragonborn
Jamela: (ooh yes)
Jen'Ifer: I've been away too long
Jamela: (you have been away so long)
Jen'Ifer: I see now that I was wrong - For not loving you

Jamela and Jen'Ifer: Crunchmas without you - fire with nothing to catch to
Jen'Ifer: Jamela I-
Jamela: Oh hush you. I know you love me, it's true.

Jamela and Jen'Ifer: Crunchmas without you
Jamela: Get your cloak off and let's screw!
Jen'Ifer: If there's one thing I'm into – it's Crunchmas inside you

Vimak: This being of happy time
Barty: (I'll say)
Vimak: And yet I feel sad inside
Barty: (boo hoo)
Vimak: For fallen comrades on this Crunchmas Eve

Barty: Hey, I miss him too, pal
Lefty: (Poor Chair)
Barty: But Chair loved a rowdy-dow
Lefty: (It's true)
Barty: I know he's here with us-
Deen: Or in heaven with Steve!

Vimak, Lefty, Barty: Crunchmas without you
Lefty: Was just something I lived through. But Jamela and Vimak and Barty too - You're the family I never knew

Deen: Crunchmas without Deen - That exclusion was so mean!
Lefty: It didn't fit in the rhyme scheme
Deen: Oh, that seems reasonable to me
Lefty: Yeah, Deen – you're great!

Jamela and Jen'Ifer: This Crunchmas I'm with you
Jamela: Looks like wishes can come true
Jen'Ifer: Let's break every taboo
Lefty: Woah you guys! Get a room.

Jamela and Jen'Ifer: Sweet loving affection
Jamela: This Tiefling's erection
Lefty: (I can't unsee that!)
Jamela: He don't need no protection
Lefty: (Jamela, that's gross)
Jamela: -Oh hey Lefty, what are you doing here?

Lefty: Does this seem strange to you?
Jamela: (You can probably join in)
Lefty: Yuck- but Jen'Ifer can't stand you!
Jamela: You're jealous aren't you? He might be a crumb-bum, but Goddess I want some – honest I do.

Jen'Ifer: Oh that's right, I hate you!
Jamela: No darling, that's not true!
Jen'Ifer: I'll Eldritch blast you!
Jamela: No but-
Barty: Is this the part where we just name chips?
Ranch-Dipped Hotwings, and Smoky Chipotle B-B-Q
Chile Limon, and Locos Tacos, Flammas too

credits

from Dungeons & Doritos: ‘Twas The Night Before Crunchmas, released December 17, 2014
A parody of "Christmas Without You" (by Goldstein / Parton)
Music performed by Mike McQuinn
Lyrics by Cap Blackard
Sung by the cast of Dungeons & Doritos

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